Sunday, June 5, 2011

Oh, Yes. Normal life. Here's a blog then!

Hmm. Note to self, never start a new blog during May. Finals, my birthday, our camping trip, then the last few days I've been getting things back to normal. I'll be working soon, and the blogs will resume. In the mean time, here's the thought I'm elaborating on today.

My husband and I lived with a couple that had a kid. They were on assistance, they were irresponsible, their kid was stunted mentally because of their laziness (intelligent and capable, but forgot how to count to 5 at 4 years old), but never having had a kid, we didn't care. Their life, whatever. Then they started leeching off of us and stealing our belongings, and lying about our part of utilities. And then they said we wouldn't survive without them. So we moved out.

When things did get hard while I was pregnant, we found out we didn't qualify for assistance, and I wondered how God could let this world exist, that people who are really trying can't make it, but jerks who lie and are irresponsible and steal from their friends get all the help they need...

I realized recently that it's quite the opposite.  They're still in the same rut they've been in, and I found out some things have gone really badly for them. They're working 3 jobs between the two of them and spend almost no time together, they keep getting into problems, and I can't feel bad because I feel bad 'cause the kid deserves better. We have mutual friends with them, so it'll get mentioned in conversation... "I was visiting and helping them move, their landlord decided to sell the house and gave them 30 days" and such. They honestly keep putting themselves in these situations - they've been evicted so many times nobody will rent to them. They've messed up their resumes with short jobs and bad references so they can't get decent-paying jobs. A true blessing wouldn't be assistance, it would be opportunity. However, it'd be a waste, because they wouldn't use it. They sit around dreaming all day about what they'll do someday, and someday never comes.

I remember living like that. After leaving, I decided someday is today. I went back to school and 2 months later started a fantastic job that's everything I could want. I absolutely adore my son, he's learning so fast. I remember the wife in that couple had once seen a kid that was polite at 15 months. She said, "they must be abusing her, no baby should even be ready to be taught how to behave. It must be out of fear". Now, I roll my eyes remembering that. I do the same remembering how much they let him get away with, and how much they condemned any form of discipline or punishment. Looking back, their kid was a brat! My 15 month old doesn't need a baby gate. We just say "get back here" and he turns around, and the few times he doesn't we just go get him. He's very polite. He listens to what he's told most of the time. He's a good kid. Yet, we've never hurt him. It's called parenting, and that's something they were just not ready for.

That business we said we'd always start? I'm starting it on my own.
How we always said we'd go back to school altogether next semester? I finally did.


I do believe in God. If you don't, call it karma. Call it the way life works. The truth of the matter is, we didn't get what I thought we needed, and we struggled through it, and now we have what we wanted. I had to keep my eyes out for other opportunities. I wasn't given anything, I was made to do it for myself, and I did. Now, my opinions are almost flipped - God, can't you throw them a bone?

How confusing it all is. We never quite know what's best for us.

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